Before I start this post, I want to say that I've decided there needs to be a web series called "Teach/Learn" or some other really cool title that has yet to come to me. This webseries will follow the life of a first year teacher who is learning about the classroom and her students while navigating the perilous roller coaster of life (lol, I know--it's lame, but let me have it). It'll highlight the things she, possibly my mild alterego who resembles me in everyway, learns about life and work...paying close attention to the politics of education and friendships....
yeah, there should be that show...on to the post
I've been pondering lately about the joys and woes of miscommunication. I've had the privileged to live with many different people in my life, and one thing I've learned is we cannot always be right. In any argument, there is at less two sides, and though I will want to argue my point until I'm blue in the face, I know that in order to get over through any dilemma, both sides must be willing to concede on something...It's called give and take, and is a key element and any relationship/friendship that wants to endure.
Many people have a problem with the "conceding" part of building relationships because they feel it's admitting they are wrong, and thus losing the argument. To me, it's choosing pride over the relationship and makes a clear statement that I value my self more than any you. Maybe it's a self preservation tool, maybe it's an unalienable right, but ultimately it's ridiculous. NO ONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT, but I respect those who can admit to being wrong and apologize.
In the heat of anger, we all say things we should not say, but continually waiting for the other party to come to you on hand and foot sends the message that you are 1. An ass and 2. extremely high minded. What are you profiting by listening to what's being said and saying, "Yes, I hear what your saying, but I said it that way so that you could know what I'm feeling and I don't feel I owe you an apology"....So, first, you admit it was wrong (whether it was the tone or the words) and then you admit to not wanting to apologize?!? What sort of crazy planet is this an acceptable way to reconcile and communicate? To me, this is worse than using facebook as an acceptable means to sort out issues at home....
In closing, I know we get mad at times, and we want to make sure the other party knows we are mad...but for the love of God, meet me half way and don't let your pride cost you a friend.....
Ayeshah
yeah, there should be that show...on to the post
I've been pondering lately about the joys and woes of miscommunication. I've had the privileged to live with many different people in my life, and one thing I've learned is we cannot always be right. In any argument, there is at less two sides, and though I will want to argue my point until I'm blue in the face, I know that in order to get over through any dilemma, both sides must be willing to concede on something...It's called give and take, and is a key element and any relationship/friendship that wants to endure.
Many people have a problem with the "conceding" part of building relationships because they feel it's admitting they are wrong, and thus losing the argument. To me, it's choosing pride over the relationship and makes a clear statement that I value my self more than any you. Maybe it's a self preservation tool, maybe it's an unalienable right, but ultimately it's ridiculous. NO ONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT, but I respect those who can admit to being wrong and apologize.
In the heat of anger, we all say things we should not say, but continually waiting for the other party to come to you on hand and foot sends the message that you are 1. An ass and 2. extremely high minded. What are you profiting by listening to what's being said and saying, "Yes, I hear what your saying, but I said it that way so that you could know what I'm feeling and I don't feel I owe you an apology"....So, first, you admit it was wrong (whether it was the tone or the words) and then you admit to not wanting to apologize?!? What sort of crazy planet is this an acceptable way to reconcile and communicate? To me, this is worse than using facebook as an acceptable means to sort out issues at home....
In closing, I know we get mad at times, and we want to make sure the other party knows we are mad...but for the love of God, meet me half way and don't let your pride cost you a friend.....
Ayeshah
This is the case of you being the pot and I'm the kettle (the roles are truly interchangeable). A blog and Facebook is all the same in the online social networking world when it comes to, as you put it, "airing dirty laundry." And you need to realize that no one has apologized for anything.
ReplyDeleteI concede...you win
ReplyDeleteI don't want to win. It's not about winning. This is not a battle nor a war. I want us to resolve it and move on. We're friends and that's not changing as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDelete