un-Qurantined Thoughts

Good morning friends and family.  Is it just me, or are the tears coming easier than usual?  I find myself crying from super sweet videos that restore my hope in humanity as well as the bleak ones where doctors are pleading with the public to stay home or donate supplies.  It's a lot.  Even with the support of my family, it's a lot.

When I came to the states back in February, escaping the monotony of my apartment in China, I arrived with little more than a desire to be outside and the foolish expectation to only be here for a month...at most.  Almost 2 months later, I am still staying with my sister, home school my nephew, and teaching online to students with a 12 hour time difference between us.  It has been tough not knowing what to expect day to day, but I am continually praising God.

All of us, if you are reading this, are waking up each day to live this new reality.  I, for one, am grateful to wake up knowing that my family and I are, at the moment, still safe.  Now, more than ever, we are realizing that tomorrow is not promised.  There are people who have woken to the fact that they have lost a family member, in some cases, family members to Covid-19.  My heart hurts for them.  To have someone you love die, alone, and not be able to say goodbye because of the infectious nature of this virus.  That's sobering.  The knowledge that our government is projecting anywhere from 100,000-240,000 human deaths over the course of this struggle with social distancing in place is flooring.  As a nation, as humans, that should bother you. It should leave you questioning how did we get to this point with so much advance warning.  We saw China.  We saw Italy and the rest of Europe.  Why were we still caught off guard?

I have a few thoughts I want to share about EVERYTHING.  You might not agree, but Imma share anyway.

1. I believe Americans suffer from this idea that it could not happen to them.  When we see the suffering of others, we see it as just that--THEY are going through a tough time.  It's sad, but on some level we have removed ourselves from the ability to see ourselves in their position. For instance, during the initial days of the US Covid outbreak, there were kids going in droves to Florida for Spring Break and competing online licking public toilets.  They thought they were exempt because of their age.  I think, many Americans thought we were exempt from suffering because of this image we project of being a prosperous, rich nation.  We thought, "Of course many Chinese people died, it's China.  That could not happen here..." 
2. I have never been more aware and disappointed in elected officials who have the power to make some changes and still sit on their asses until things are critical.  All because of fear of making a decision, all because no one wants to be the responsible party.  Why is the federal government leaving states in charge of coming up with their own system of how to quarantine? Is this the wild west?  Is it every man for himself? Why did the governor of Georgia LIE (I'm calling him out because that was either a lie or blatant stupidity) about not knowing that asymptomatic people could be contagious?  Did he not learn how germs worked in school?  Georgia (and I'm sure other places) has these tightropes in place for people to walk over before they can be approved for testing.  You could have all the symptoms of Covid-19 and STILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO TEST.  Combine this with the fact that asymptomatic people aren't being forced to stay home or wear masks (counties have taken on this burden...yet, companies have been stretching the meaning of "essential" for their workers), symptomatic people are told to stay home and self treat, Covid Hotline hours are not 24/7 (because the symptoms stop outside of banking hours), and low testing means low reporting and inaccurate numbers we have a recipe for disaster. I do understand that we don't want to overwhelm our fragile healthcare system, however, we need more testing and more RULES. A 8 pm to 5am curfew is not enough. 
3. People aren't staying home!  You can and you will die.  None of us are immortal.  You do not have to go to church to fellowship.  You do not need to go to Wal-Mart everyday...and when you do, don't make it a family trip. You do not need to be visiting family and friends because you are bored.  Stay home.  Read a book.  Write a book.  Learn a language.  Clean everything you own. Do something that does not require you to put yourself and others at risk.  We all need to feel connected, so feel free to video call everybody you know.  
4. Doctors are being fired for speaking out!  During the worst pandemic of our lifetime, we are firing doctors because they bruised someone's pride.  We need are healthcare professionals now more than ever!  
5. It is good that school is cancelled for the rest of the school year.  It's unfortunate, but it is good.  If missing prom means you are not spreading an out of control disease, prom it up when this is over. I hope more communities are able to provide food for those kids who might not eat. I hope we are all coming together to help our neighbors and encourage each other.  I do love that the schools in my area have been gong around blowing horns and send virtual hugs. That brought some tears to my eyes. 
6.  After experiencing quarantine now in two countries, I have to admit, I felt safer in China.  Yes, it all felt like one big overreaction at the time, but if my biggest safety complaint was that I was inconvenienced, I was doing fine.  There was a common sense of we were all in it together and working towards mutual survival.  My apartment complex disinfected the elevators 5 times a day.  I had my temperature checked at every store I visited.  It was crazy, but not impossible to endure.  These are some reasons I choose to return:
1. Entertaining a 7-year-old 24/7 in a small apartment...alone, was doing my head in. I wanted to be able to go outside without a mask on! 
2. Being near family was comforting and has still been for the most part. 
3. I expected the American health system to be BETTER, more expensive, yes, but also better prepared.
4. I didn't realize the virus would travel through the states so quickly.  I am starting to believe it has always been here, spreading quietly, but now  it's here here.  I was foolish. 

Anyway, I am not here to fearmonger.  I am really upset about somethings and wanted to vent.  I am not as worried and scared as I was a few weeks ago, I am more at peace.  I thank God for providing that peace that surpasses understanding.  I do think we need to come together and be there where we can and encourage each other that this too shall pass.  Grieve with those who are grieving.  Rejoice with those who are rejoicing. And, for the love of God, stay home!


Ayeshah Dean