Dating while Christian

I came across this meme today and thought it was cute:



Forget the cultural appropriation, it ain't that kind of post, I immediately focused on the simple message of the t-shirt.  Seven simple words that encompass uncompromising conviction and standards.  The refusal to accept, romantically, someone who does not hold your convictions and belief system, seemingly a no brainer, is actually a difficult decision to make. The sad truth is, a lot of potential baes, "Christian" or nah, don't pray.

It made me think of dating as a Christian.  As a single woman, living on her own, I'm reminded, the older I get, by well meaning family members and friends that I should be settling down soon.  The pressure to "settle" leaves me unsettled and I uncomfortably field their questions and comments.

Let's face it, dating in the world today is hard.  People want quick and cheap, without the romance and courtship.  They want snapchats and nudes without commitment and wooing.  It's a bunch of unwritten rules I either refuse to play by or never learned.

I don't know why, in all my naivety, I expected Christian dating to be any different.  It's alarming how many Christians date just like the rest of the world, the instant gratification, the living like we're married without actually marrying.   We are often quick to denounce homosexuality, but have no problems having per-marital sex (even writing this, I feel like I'm 14 again attending a True Love Waits rally).

As Christians, when do we decide what we will and will not follow?  If I'm picking and choosing what commandments I like, am I still Christian?  All of these thoughts (and more) run through my head as I contemplate what I would be willing to compromise on so that I could feel...loved.

Many "Christians" compromise their beliefs to feed "physical" needs, because no one wants to be in a relationship where sex is off the table....or foreplay...or some dirty touching....anything to "take the edge off".  The greatest argument for sex is that it's natural and a necessary physical need that must be seen to, like eating.  A lot can be said for self control.  We aren't called to be people who live by our physical needs.  We are called to be set apart and to live for God.  We are called to live by the spirit.

But I digress.  I think the body of Christ needs to accept some truths.  We are not our own.  You were payed for with a high price, and for that, you owe your life.  If your dating life is causing you to live in sin, take a step back, get your spiritual priorities in order. 

The entire post was inspired because of the complete lack of available men who share my convictions. It's like having to choose between staying the course and just saying, whatever, so that someone would commit. I like the idea of courtship and the restraint shown in Georgian/Victorian films.  Treat me like your sister...not some broad you want to get into bed as soon as possible.

In the end, it's not about being too slow or old fashioned, it's just counter cultural...and most importantly, it's biblical.  Think of how much chaos and heartache is avoided when we do things properly....

But that's just me.

Let me know what you think.  I don't care if you disagree, just be respectful.

PS:  I am looking for a strong, Godly man, who has marriage in mind and can lead my family spiritually.  Christ must be the center of his life.  If you know/find him, hook a sista' up. 

Ayeshah

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